But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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