The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
then he tried to convert me to islam
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
