The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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