hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I will be naked everywhere
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
