i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
