where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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