Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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