He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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