He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
