Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
