i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
