"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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