I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
40s are totally the cure
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
