sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
