Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
