You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
