She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
