We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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