im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
