She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
