My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
