Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
