We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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