Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
