im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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