I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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