i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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