yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
