were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
