I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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