i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
