Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
