The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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