His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
