Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
