I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
