I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
