oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
