Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
