So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize