You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Less talking, more tequila
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
