There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
where does the pee come out of this thing
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
