Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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