so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
