Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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