guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
