Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
