quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's rum buckets o'clock
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
