What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
