im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
