just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
