so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
