Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So many bounce houses so little time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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