She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
