One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize