in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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