It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
