you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
