I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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