Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
