we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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