My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
