you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize