My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
