Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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