The best revenge is premature balding
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
