Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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