If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
