Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
