Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
