i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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