is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
vagina is talking i cant
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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