I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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